In life we tend to grow up being a little biased because we are raised one way. We are taught from an early age to believe certain ways and to do things a certain way. Our minds are being molded and sculpted from the moment we leave the womb. I am very fortunate to have found such a Godly fiance in the sense that he has taught me so many new things in life… things that helped me to gain perspective.. beautiful perspectives.
Don’t get me wrong. My parents did an absolute amazing job in the lessons that they taught us. My dad was always the rock. He always said- ” Don’t worry about the things that you cannot control. and he absolutely lives by that. My mom always said- ” Never leave the house without looking your best.” and of course, she absolutely lives by that. They were both very good for me though because she showed me things that dad couldn’t and vise versa.
In life, it is so important that we don’t get so set in ” our own ways”. I’ve noticed that by doing this, that we become narrow minded, and we aren’t even able to relate to other people because we have such a certainty that our way of beliefs are accurate.
I know that when beginning my relationship with Caleb I went into it with a whole different perspective of the relationship then what he had. He has and continues to teach me so much.
I remember our first argument. I had noticed that I was raising my voice , and that Caleb was remaining calm as a cucumber.. which in turn made me feel embarrassed, and that I MUST be overreacting if he is so calm on this subject. So then, I stormed out of the house and drove off. I needed to clear my head, and in the past I had always done this. When in confrontation , I would naturally flee, and isolate myself until I let go of my grudge.
Finally, I drove back over to Calebs. He calmly sat me down and said- ” If you want a relationship with me , and you want this to work, you can never do that again.” Shocked, I looked at him and replied- ” what do you mean? I was steaming I needed to cool off so that I didn’t continue to yell.” He then says-” It doesn’t matter, we don’t leave mad at each other, nor will we ever go to sleep angry at one another.” He was very clear and dire when saying this.
He would also explain the significance of communicating with him at all times. If I had anything on my mind, that we must make a promise to each other to be honest and open with one another.
I have to admit, just those two rules have helped to create such a wonderful relationship. I use to run away from my feelings, and when i did decide to express them, I would yell and make a fool of myself. Little did I know I didn’t have to do those things just to communicate my feelings to Caleb..
That was also the importance of talking about an issue that was bothering either of us right away. We wanted to understand each others needs and wants. This is so important. If you don’t know your partners love language, definitely get online and take the quiz! It is free and super quick! It has helped me to understand Calebs needs besides the things that he has already expressed to me.
Not to mention his profound love for God.
I believe I re blogged recently a girls post about the importance of having God as the foundation of all relationships, and this is SO TRUE. When you have the same beliefs and communicate with one another, you wont believe how simple being in a relationship truly can be.
Don’t ever allow yourself or relationship to become too complacent or mundane. Remembering these things and setting them as your foundation is key. Over the years we learn so so much, and yet it is still never enough.
That is why I thank God so much for the people that He has placed in my life over the years. I have gained so much perspective on things, and viewed things differently , but in the best way possible.
The beauty of Caleb and I’s relationship is that we understand that we cannot be EVERYTHING to each other. Of course, as women we struggle with this, because we long to be their everything and what they think about every minute of the day but realistically.. that is placing way too many expectations on them. The relationship then becomes exhausting, and you’re always trying to outdo your last good deed.
I remember in past relationships I would always feel heartache and emptiness because I felt this longing that just couldn’t be fulfilled. In turn, I would get frustrated and become more angry with my previous relationships. They (expectedly) would become overwhelmed and before I knew it, that relationship didn’t last. Why was this you ask? Because it is only God who can fill that void.
This is why God has to come first, and for Caleb, He does.
He is the ONLY one who can be everything that we need.
and now realizing this, He ( God ) absolutely comes first in everything for me as well. I always thought I had a great relationship with God, but until you truly understand this concept, it’s really hard to have a healthy relationship with Him, let alone anyone else.
Don’t allow yourself to be set in your own ways , but allow every person who enters your life become a blessing to you. You can learn so much from one person, and changing one thing about yourself can make an impact on your whole life, for the better.
My last and final point: My extreme inability to be patient, and to backtrack if something is forgotten.
One day, I of course was in a hurry and rushed out of the house forgetting something significantly important. Caleb says- ” Well aren’t you going to go back and get it? You know that we need it.”
Me- No Caleb, you know I don’t like to backtrack, we are running late, and I will just learn to not forget things.”
Caleb-” Pull off right there, and take a deep breathe, and go back to your house. I’ll drive so that you don’t have to be the one backtracking.”
Me- ” How are you so patient, and willing to drive back?”
Caleb- ” Think about it, it’s a beautiful day. If we hadn’t turned around , we would’ve never got to enjoy this beautiful day from this view.”
Day and point made