It’s All in the Sharing
Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:3-4)
When God created marriage, He created foundational laws for it to be guided and guarded. One of those laws is the Law of Possession. It is stated in Genesis 2:24: “They shall become one flesh.” Once you are married, you are no longer two but one.
Certainly, this relates to the beauty of sexual intimacy that is unique within the marriage relationship. But it also goes far beyond that; in fact, it is a profoundly important concept to understand. The law of possession means that for marriage to work, you must share everything and possess nothing apart from one another.
The words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians reveal how God created marriage to produce the deepest intimacy and bonding possible in a human relationship. Once a couple is married, each one must yield the rights over his or her own body. This isn’t a license for abuse; it is a guarantee of use for both husband and wife to get their needs met.
In God’s design, you can’t withhold from each other. You must give everything you have to each other and share everything. This is why it is called “the law of possession.” The only way two different individuals can become one is if both are willing to take what was theirs individually and now surrender it to the common cause.
Marriage is about sharing your lives with each other. That requires giving of yourself and caring for each other. It means you don’t make decisions without the agreement of your spouse. It means you don’t withdraw sex or anything else in the relationship to punish or control. It means all of the money and assets of the family belong to both of you equally, regardless of where they came from or who worked to earn them.
Selfishness and independence destroy the spirit of marriage. Giving and sharing create the strongest bond of intimacy possible. This intimacy is so powerful that the word used to describe it is “one.” Two people becoming one heart, one home and one mind as they lay aside their individualism and selfishness—that is what marriage is all about.
Talk It Out | In your marriage, how well are you following the principles of the Law of Possession—surrendering it all and sharing everything equally? Talk about any areas you feel you need to work on. If a more detailed explanation would be helpful, see chapter five of my book Marriage on the Rock.
Walk It Out | Find a time to have a special intimate night together. Send the kids to a babysitter’s or family member’s house, or plan an overnight getaway for just the two of you.