pale

Beneath The Skin


” For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Psalm 139:13
Today, my vision got a little clearer, and I had a lot put into perspective. For years, my husband has been telling me the damaging effects of being in the beauty industry. Yes, he supports me in all that I do, but never encouraged being put in a position of being constantly compared or told that you weren’t quite good enough. I ignored it initially, after all, I was just having fun with it? I never took it seriously enough to let those things get to me.. until it started happening. 

We were never made to live this way.. in constant comparison to each other, but unfortunately, that is what social media and media in general is doing to us! Even if we don’t admit that we fall into this category; subconsciously, we think it, and we feel it to a degree. Growing up, especially in middle school, I was constantly picked on for my appearance. The classic “ginger” jokes if you will. I carried some of that pain with me all through high school, and it was damaging to my relationships. This subconcious critic was slowly destroying my opinion of myself. That should NEVER happen. 

God never created us to be so self centered. Who are we to think we deserve certain titles or positions? I was humbled by this realization today. I always had my husband’s wise words in the back of my mind, questioning me if modeling was a safe bet to place the perception of my self worth. Despite this, I continued pushing forward, but for what? What fulfillment, other than self-centered egoic satisfaction, could modeling possibly give me? This was the moment God’s Spirit softly reminded me; life isn’t, and shouldn’t be about “me, me ,me .” That’s the problem.

     Recently, I have been given opportunities that I thought were going to be somewhat of a “stepping stone,” but God decided to intervene. He lovingly said, “No.” Initially, my ego took it very hard, and I made a few phone calls to vent. I didn’t want to believe that after all my efforts, all the sacrifices, it wasn’t going to work out for me. What I failed to realize, however, is that it will all work out for the good of those who love Christ; it just may be in a way I never expected.

Amazingly, in that moment, something happened, and I was given this strong motivation to share. I decided that I am fed up with being judged, compared, and getting the same message.. “Yeah , you’re good and all, but THIS girl.” No! You don’t get to sum up my worth, or classify me. 
This moment of clarity gave me such serenity! I am so full of peace! I am who I am, and I was created for a purpose; not for self, but for others. All this time, instead of taking it personally, I should have been thanking God! We pray all the time for God to lead, to direct us, and here I have been pouting about the fact that feeding my ego just isn’t working out for me.. Well, maybe that’s because God doesn’t want me to serve self, but to serve others. 
No, I don’t know where to begin, but I know that I am going to continue to let The Spirit speak, direct me, and I will try with all my heart listen and obey this time. Thank you God for this realization.
  
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

Nutcracker


Last night was pretty magical. My husband, his family and I went to go and see the Nutcracker​. 

Living in the city has been quite an adjustment for me, it’s a very fast paced lifestyle compared to what I was used to as you could imagine. But I couldn’t help to think to myself last night ..driving through the city on the way to the show, how beautiful and how blessed we are to be in the position we are in. How I do hope to be back to my country roads in the near future, I know that God is just preparing us for His plan. He knows that I’ve always been very comfortable and a homebody and I just have to remember that this is His way of pushing me out of my comfort zone. Every time I get anxious, I just remind myself of that fact. It truly is a beautiful city and I was blessed to spend this time with them. 

 It was an absolutely beautiful show, and I had never been in the Benedum center so I was blown away by the beauty of the building. 

  
I was blessed enough to be able to wear a vintage dress that my husband purchased for me over two years ago. Check out Quinn Edgells vintage clothing line- FEATHERED. All of her items are absolutely beautiful and reasonably priced for the quality of what you are getting .  Having lived in West Virginia, there was just nowhere to wear such a beautiful and extravagant dress . 

  
But I would say last night was very fitting. Need to even mention how gorgeous my husband looked ?  I couldn’t quit staring at him all night.

Dress – 1960s vintage ivory sequin dress from feathered . Check them out on etsy! 
Glossy nude heels- forever21 

I really couldn’t justify spending money on getting my hair done with my background experience in cosmetology, so I thought why not wing it and try an updo myself! This hair-do you was very simple and easy, if you’re interested in a tutorial comment below.

  
Lough family ❤️

Biddles Escape


To start our morning off today, Taylor and I decided we needed a coffee fix, so we headed on down to our favorite local spot. The menu there is overwhelming because there are just so many awesome options to choose from. Not only are the drinks delightful but the atmosphere is incredible. When I walk in, I feel a sense of comfort and peace; super eclectic if you will. Taylor and I decided to skip out on coffee and go for a matcha (green tea) latte, which may I add was PHENOMENAL. I love matcha for it’s amazing health benefits. You should definitely look them up sometime.

As Taylor and I received our drinks , we decided to take them outside to the coffee shops deck. It was a beautiful overcast day. I know that may sound strange to some of you, but a lot of the time , these are the days that make me the happiest. I decided to dress casual and comfy. I wore a pair of worn out jeans, a Ramones tee with a black cropped jacket , a burgundy  scarf ( in which I made myself) and combat boots to throw it all together. I had a lot of girls asking me today what curling iron I used on my hair to achieve the look that I did. I used a 1 1/2 ceramic curling iron by Revlon.

The only products I use are TREsemme Thermal Creations as a heat protectant and garnier fructis marvelous oil. WHICH may I add is the ONLY oil that I have ever found to fully saturate and maintain / manage my frizz all day! I am very impressed with that product. My hair is fortunately naturally curly, so I don’t really have to worry about hairspray and IF I ever use anything I only use One N’ Only Argan Oil Volume hair spray- which is mainly a spray to help maintain frizz and protect your hair from the humidity. I am TOTALLY against hairspray otherwise. I don’t think people realize how damaging it is to their hair. All in all , it was another lovely day spent with my darling sister.


  

Fall Days Strolling Through The City


So I am really looking forward to this week because my sister decided to come and stay with me. During the day while Caleb is at work, it has been really lonely, so I am excited to have someone to do things with. We decided since it was such a beautiful day that we would take a stroll through the city. I love checking out all the local shops ! We first stopped at a local pizzeria to get some pepperoni wraps, and Taylor got buffalo chicken rolls. They were AWESOME! We then decided to drop by for some coffee. My addiction varies between iced green tea lattes made with matcha or an iced caramel macchiato.

What I love about this city is that everything is pretty much within walking distance, and I love how many bike trails there are. There are almost just as many people riding their bikes from place to place as there are people driving! Okay… maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s still impressive. In Wv,, we really have it made when it comes to the convenience of getting in and out of the stores/ restaurants we love the most. In Pittsburgh, however, parking is nearly impossible and it probably is in your best interest to either walk, or ride a bike; but I can’t complain much because it encourages and promotes living a healthier lifestyle. So it is kind of a win win. All in all, it was a beautiful , eventful day.