I have found both of these links to be very helpful.
My fiances mother actually has always told me about this picture. I believe it is very important to have a Christ centered relationship. I have come to find that who needs “self help” books? The bible has every single answer to every single question you could ever imagine. Therefore, when trying to figure out what qualities would make the perfect man you ask? The bible will tell you. Don;t look to all these romance movies and tv shows because then you’re placing unrealistic expectations on your future partner. If you want a man to accept you for all of what you think are “flaws” then you must be willing to accept his also. In a Christ centered relationship, it teaches you how to dig deeper than the physical side of things. It allows you to really appreciate one another for who they really are deep down. Below is a list that I found from a fellow blogger that is excellent! I could relate to everything in the sense that Caleb is an amazing, Godly man. I hope these steps help you to form a new perspective of how a healthy relationship truly should be!
To have a healthy, Christ-centered dating relationship, you must realize that a relationship with God takes first priority in your life. Without Him, no other relationships would be possible.
So how can you have a relationship with God and become a Christian? I’ve always loved the breakdown of the ABC’s. Though it’s laid out in a way easy to understand, the steps we must take promote a life-long commitment to Christ.
2. Remember who your first Love is designed to be, Christ and Christ alone.
So often I feel that we let our earthly relationships with our significant other stand in the way of our relationship with the Creator Himself. We feel that the other person can fill a void in our lives or a specific longing to be loved by someone else. We forget who was the One who designed love as it should be. We begin to place our relationship with our boyfriend/girlfriend above our relationship with God. We begin to place our faith in our earthly relationship instead of faithfully placing our earthly relationship in the hands of God.
“But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had first. Remember therefore where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.” Revelation 2:4-5
“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:30
I remember the exact moment when I realized that Chad was the perfect guy for me. It was when he told me that he loved God more than anything or anyone else in this world, and that no matter where our relationship took us, God would always remain his first love. Wow, what an amazing and wise thing for a 15-year-old boy to say! Needless to say, he won my heart that day. 🙂
We must strive to remember that no earthly relationship or earthly love could ever compare to the love God has for us. He laid down His own Son on the cross for us… what greater love is there than that? He wants us to love Him with every part of our being, and with that love, earthly love and relationships will follow.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
3. Date with marriage in mind.
In other words, if you can’t picture yourself marrying the person, don’t date ’em. Yep, I said it. I know it kinda sorta goes against popular thought, but I fully and 100% believe that if we cannot see ourselves marrying the person down the road, there really is no point in continuing on with the relationship. I mean really… What’s the point of dating if you can’t see yourself marrying the guy (or girl, for you fellas out there)?
I am blessed to say that I was (and am) Chad’s first and only girlfriend (how cool is that??). Even though we were very young when we began dating (15 years old), we both knew that we did not want to be in relationship if we could not eventually see ourselves marrying that person. (Funny side note, Chad never lets me live down the fact that he was not my first boyfriend, lol. In response, I tell him this: Technically how can you really “go out” with anyone in middle school? Where did we go?? The lunchroom, of course! haha. Anyway, Chad was (and is) obviously my first and only true (earthly) love… and what a blessing his love is in my life! :))
“‘Haven’t you read,’ he replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Matthew 19: 4-6
4. Find someone who prays for you and prays with you.
I know several parents out there (including my own) who began praying for the person their child was going to marry from the day that child was born. How truly awesome is that? I believe it is so vitally important to find a boyfriend or girlfriend who not only prays for you (on a daily basis) but also prays with you.
Through prayer together, you and your boyfriend (or girlfriend) are able to talk to God about problems that may arise in either of your lives. You are able to thank Him for the opportunity to be in a relationship and the happy times you experience together. By praying together, you are able to experience God together. If that doesn’t sound amazing to you, I don’t know what will. 🙂
I’ll never forget when Chad and I were juniors in high school. My granny had been diagnosed with cancer, and I was on the way to the hospital after getting a phone call from my mom saying she wasn’t doing good. I was heading there after a volleyball game, and I immediately called Chad because I needed to hear his comforting voice. He immediately began fervently praying for my Granny, for me, and for my family. That was one of the sweetest prayers I’ve ever heard, and I don’t think he even knows how much it meant to me.
Our junior year when we began driving, Chad and I decided together that we would begin each morning before school with prayer together. Each day, we would take turns praying for the day ahead, for each other, and for any upcoming circumstances we may face. I am personally thankful for a boyfriend who daily covers me in prayer; what a wonderful blessing.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” James 5:16
5. Remain pure and holy: Marriage is the goal.
Simply put, be careful with physical affection. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly. Marriage is the union that brings man and woman together; therefore, remain pure and holy for your future husband or wife.
“Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others, keep yourself pure.” 1 Timothy 5:22
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2
“Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, who you have God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
6. Have fun praising and glorifying God together.
What good is a relationship if you don’t have fun with one another? Boringgggg, haha. Chad is seriously the funnest person to be around; that’s why I absolutely love spending time with him.
As a couple, choose things you enjoy doing together. Go play in the arcade together, eat yummy food together, go play a game of putt-putt, go bowling, watch movies together, hug each other, take trips with each other and each other’s family, do a Bible study together, go to church together, go shopping with her (fellas, hehe), watch a game of baseball or football on TV with him (ladies, hehe).
Find activities you enjoy doing with your significant other. Smile, laugh, enjoy one another’s company, encourage one another, support one another, edify and build each other with your words, and most of all, glorify God with your lives and with your relationship. 🙂
My prayer is that each of you continue to seek God’s will for your life and your relationships. I hope this post has encouraged you in some way, and I pray that you always remember how magnificent and how awesome God’s love is for YOU!
it is very helpful.